Julianna W. Beckman
Artist, Creative, Singer, & Music Producer
Welcome to my portfolio, where you can read my autobiography, view my current projects, find my social media pages, or purchase my artwork to support me.
Scroll down to learn more about myself and my life, or explore pages with the menu at the top.
MY PAST
I was born and raised on a small farm in small-town Florence, Colorado, population 3,800. My parents, during my lifetime, were very entrepreneurial, having moved from Virginia to run their own alpaca farm and yarn shop while they raised three children, then selling everything twelve years later to pursue my father's dream of running a used car dealership. Throughout the years, we had chickens, goats, alpacas, cats, and dogs. My sister once adopted a couple of pet mice, too. On nearly three acres, the cats lived indoor/outdoor, served as mousers, and enjoyed the freedom to roam. It wasn't uncommon to find rotting mouse hearts on the sidewalk, or for a cat to try and bring a mouse or bird inside as a "gift". Weekly chores were instated, from cleaning the home to feeding, watering, and poop clean-up. My mother learned a lot about nutrition as I was growing up, so our groceries were very health-mindful, half of which came fresh from a garden. I loved doing arts and crafts, and music was a part of our lives like it is any common person. All of us enjoyed listening to music, and each of us had some musical talent. Dad had a few electric guitars, mom played chants on the harmonium, my sister and I loved to sing, and would both go on to learn guitar. I remember having a tall and beautiful wooden upright piano in our sunny living room for a while as a kid. I was passionate about singing as a child, making up songs to have mini concerts with my best friend, creating whole songs and singing them dramatically and sometimes theatrically as I played outside, writing out whole pages of lyrics. I remember one song in particular I enjoyed making, after I adopted my uncle's old smartphone and found an app that would allow me to create vocal stacks, although I didn't know that's what I was doing at the time. I became both the melody and the harmonic instrument. It was short and simple, but I later adapted it onto the guitar in high school, and still hold fondness for it despite the silly lyrics.
I have a vivid memory of registering for school with my dad at the start of 6th grade. I remember feeling intimidated about the transition to a bigger school, with kids I didn't know and that were older than me. We were at a table with papers on it, and the band teacher whom was a stranger to me then encouragingly asked if I wanted to join band. I was unsure, I hadn't thought about it before. I looked up at my dad to guide my decision. He simply looked back at me and said, "Well, do you want to join the band?" Remembering how cool I thought the marching band was in the parade that summer, I wrote my name down. I remember this because my seven years of performing with the school band are still some of my most tender and beloved. The band room was a silly, joyful, and growth-inducing place that became sanctuary to us all. I honestly fin it interesting that I didn't think to join the choir at this time. I am unsure whether I was scared or didn't realize my passion. Then again, I was 10 years old. In middle school, I followed my sister's creative footsteps and became very interested in drawing. I also created more vocal stacks, inventing songs about pancakes and Minecraft. In high school, I became adjusted to marching band, joined the jazz band, and participated in a lot of extra-curriculars. I tried basketball, cheerleading, and soccer, joined the student council and A.C.E. program, and was inducted into National Honor Society. My parents paid for private guitar lessons. Friends and acquaintances urged me to join choir after I had the opportunity to perform the National Anthem at a football game. It wasn't until my junior year, when I finally had room in my class schedule, that I joined the choir. Thankfully, the teacher let me skip the pre-requisite non-auditioned class and jump to the select choir in order to get the most of my only two years left. Unlike how I had worked form rock bottom to learn clarinet, choir came extremely intuitive to me. I picked up sight-reading quickly, and my music theory knowledge and years of singing aided my performance. I went on to play the lead role in a musical that year and collaborated in a trio acapella group for the Christmas concert. My senior year, I auditioned for and attended the 2019 Colorado All-State Choir as part of the mixed choir under the direction of composer Stephen Caldwell. Looking back, I wish I could have done both band and choir for seven years. However, I'm grateful to have had these experiences regardless.
After graduating high school, I was still working at the local sushi & steakhouse restaurant, was deeply invested in a relationship with my high school sweetheart, and had planned on taking a gap year before going to college to become a music teacher. While the COVID pandemic was taking place, I left my food service job and took up food delivery driving. My still-dearest friends took different paths, and moved away. I spent a lot of time making art or with my family or boyfriend at the time. My dog, who had been my precious baby since I was very little, passed during this time; I was heartbroken. Because of everything going on in the world, I delayed college. I had had a history with unhealthy food relationships and body dysmorphia in high school, and I was still chased by them. My world began to feel very small and dull, with no clear direction, as I began to experience a cruel cycle of depression and an undiagnosed eating disorder feeding into each other in my everyday life. I had the awareness to know something was wrong, but I was ashamed and hid from everyone around me that I was struggling and felt like there was something wrong with me. At the same time, I had a willingness to change. I believe I was slowly transforming internally, and learned about ecommerce, drop-shipping, and web design. I created an online store to sell my artwork printed onto canvases, tote bags, and notebooks, and would leave business cards at the door when I delivered food. I remember taking a trip up to Boulder to see my childhood friend who lived and attended school there. Away from my boyfriend, family, and everything I knew, I took in the city and my friend's life there with curiosity. I felt so inspired. I stayed longer than I had planned, and while I was there, did a lot of reflection. My dear friend offered to sublease her apartment to me so she could live with her partner, and I made a big choice. To abandon my nearly four-year relationship, the little bubble of a town I grew up in, my family, and my lifelong home to carve out my own path in the world. I came home and said some sad goodbyes, and quickly began an adventure that I have been grateful I had chosen ever since.
Having lived in the same town and in the same home with the same people for nearly 21 years, moving to a trendy college city was sort of a culture shock for me. I was thrilled to be surrounded by so many people my age, and amazed at how easily I made friends. Was began slowly within me became huge internal and external transformation. It was both exciting and very scary. I was also heartbroken by the change, especially having left a boy I spent every day with but couldn't bring with me on my journey. I was emotional for quite a while as I recovered from and adjusted to the change, with support form my dear friends who invited me up there. I oftentimes turned to my guitar or ukelele and transmuted my feelings into lyric and song. I spent a lot of time by the river or going on hikes to ground myself. There were many firsts, many blessings, and many lessons. I made wonderful memories with strangers-become-friends and rediscovered myself on an entirely new level. Fully embracing change, I buzzed all of my hair off. I was allowed to redefine myself, my path, and my ambitions. All the while remembering my inner child, and her passion for singing and music. My depression dissolved and the symptoms of my eating disorder barely lingered. Eventually, I fell in love all over again, and relocated to Denver, again experiencing a sort of culture shock before settling in and getting a serving job downtown. My boyfriend showed me his Akai Fire Board (MIDI controller) and FL Studios (music production software). My excitement was sparked! I frequently borrowed his computer to compose music on and figure out how to use the software. My dear friends bought me a microphone for Christmas, and the immense support I was receiving forced me to think about a career in music. My boyfriend encouraged me to attend college. Somewhere in the midst of a life I hadn't even imagined living a year earlier, I decided what direction to take. I want to sing and I want to make music, and I want to share myself with the world. I want to continue creating, and I want to have an impact. This is my purpose.
MY PRESENT
Today, I remain in Denver, Colorado, pursuing an Associate of Applied Science in Recording Arts Technology, and I work at Red Rocks Amphitheatre. Life is a hustle, constantly moving around me, as I balance work, study, and my creative endeavors. I am grateful to myself for ever recognizing my need for change and giving my life direction, despite my doubts and fears. I heard a quote somewhere, "The obstacles in your path are your path."
We are the architects of our realities, the conductors of our experience, and the authors of our stories. We are the creators of the world we share, and chronically underestimate our abilities. I have come to realize that creation, authenticity, and self- expression are some of the most powerful forces in the world, and can be one of our greatest tools in fostering a deep and loving self-relationship, as well as valuable and fruitful connections. I decided I no longer want to doubt myself or live in fear of rejection. But most of all, I owe it to my inner child to continue dreaming, creating, and connecting, and to weave the web of strings that will anchor my dreams into reality. It would be my greatest pride to have inspired as many people as possible along the way.
The purpose of sharing so much about myself and my life is not an expression of vanity, but because I want to be able to connect deeply with my supporters, and for you to be able to connect more deeply with me. I hope that in sharing authentically and vulnerably, I can inspire others to open their hearts to the world as well, as our creativity is our core. I admit, putting myself out there like this is really scary. But it's also what I feel called to do, and I know that my audience, my tribe, and my destiny cannot find me unless I first make myself seen.
MY FUTURE
While little is known of what lies ahead, you are invited to contribute to my dream and growing career through my GoFundMe.
Supporting me in this way allows me to continue getting higher education and expressing and sharing my creativity as much as I can.
Thank you for your ongoing support.
